Starting Over

This post has nothing to do with the fact that I just deleted everything that was originally on this blog.

A new beginning. Smells like dewy, fresh cut grass of the morning. Sounds like something nostalgic, but still avant-garde. Maybe it’s because I haven’t seen a decent patch of grass for a long time.

Before senior year started, I made a promise to myself. That I would be more honest with myself and to others. Even if it meant hurting myself and others. I made this decision because for the past seventeen years of my life, I have tried so hard to be someone that everyone could at least like. Being “likable” was much better than being picked on for being different.

And honestly it’s the best decision I’ve made in my life.

I tell my classmates and underclassmen about my decision and anecdotes about my bitter words to people I GENUINELY HATE. I tell them and I’m telling you that it’s totally okay to hate people as long as you have a justified reason. That it’s only more stressful to put up a front for these people who just aren’t worth your time.

However, the response I often get is:

“Oh, it’s because you’re a senior.”

“I want to be like that, but only when it doesn’t matter anymore.”

With all honesty, I understand. There’s a certain type of stigma that makes you afraid and very conscious of others’ impression of you. Because in a small school like mine, it doesn’t take much to change the overarching opinion about one person.

But the happiest people that I’ve personally seen, are the people that genuinely don’t give. These people understand that there are people that truly care about them and that’s sufficient enough. As long as you have a certain few, everyone else is just…well…everyone else.

Does it still sound that scary?

– A.J.C

Starting Over

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