To the friends I don’t want anymore.

I don’t know how many of you there are. There are actually just a handful of you.

If we are close to a certain extent, you probably know that after we graduate, I will be removing people from my life. Basically taking you off all social media, deleting numbers, just cutting off all connection. Or at least as much as I possibly can/want to.

I have this mental list of people already set, however, there are a certain few that for the longest time I couldn’t decide if I really wanted them in my life or not. And I think I’ve come to the conclusion after today, that I don’t want you in my life anymore.

The thing is, I don’t hate you. I like you guys, even a lot. But I think our relationship is detrimental on both sides. You don’t like the way I am or the way I treat you/treated you. And same for me.

I just really want to be happy and you also deserve to be happy. A lot of you personally just bring me down a lot. Insults that might be a joke, but are actually too overt. Lack of consideration. A-lot of things that go on behind my back that you probably think I don’t know about, but is actually so obvious to me without anyone telling me. I know I’m not the best person either. In the past, I’ve done a lot of affronting without considering your situation or feelings.

However, I want to reassure you I HAVE NEVER EVER spoken about you in a bad light unless I was truly concerned. And when I did, it was to those I could trust, get advice from, and I knew their opinion of you wouldn’t change.  But I don’t know…I think I’m trying pretty hard lately. Maybe I was such a piece of crap and this is the punishment you think is fit for me.

Even now, I really try to bite my tongue. But sometimes I think is it really worth it? Fortunately, I don’t want to stoop down to that level.

Honestly, at some points I wanted to cut all of you off more recently than I’d like admit. And for some of you I already have. But I guess, I wanted to have hope in our bond and that we were all better than we really are. Now? I think it’s a bit late.

Maybe somewhere down the line, we’ll meet again.

-A.J.C.

 

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To the friends I don’t want anymore.

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